"Yours are the only emails I actually open and read" - a regular reply in my inbox since 2009...and I'll bet in yours, too, once you subscribe and learn by pure, lazy osmosis to become the most compelling writer around. That said, no promises on improving your moral character.
R.I.P. nuance 🪦
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OK — you know that email I sent last week announcing my new free email class? (It was about Netflix’s East of Eden series and started off with a note on Florence Pugh’s lip filler. Read it here if you missed it.) When I wrote it, I was pretty sure I’d get a fuming reply from at least one nuance-blind subscriber. Et voilà: Let’s deconstruct. 1 - Yes, a woman’s lip filler was the subject line, so I guess I was technically “centralizing” that in my messaging. Or leading with it, anyway. But criticizing it as an anachronism in the show, which it IS, is not a form of “degradation.” If I went on a tirade saying how sad it is that Florence Pugh augmented her lips to meet the current beauty aesthetic pushed on us by Instagram and available to even the unfortunate upper-lip-less masses, and why can’t beautiful women leave their faces alone like they used to before the hyaluronic acid era and gosh, remember how Christie Brinkley, with her dental-floss-width lips, used to be the ideal, blah blah blah…well, that might be an unfeminist move — if not degrading and “subjugating” her (to my entire list). I’m not making fun of her for getting her lips done. I’m saying it’s distracting in what’s supposed to be turn-of-the-(20th)-century America. It’s not just the shape and size (during a time when a small mouth and cupid’s bow were considered hawt); it’s the subtle, telltale ridge where the lips protrude. Unavoidable even with the best lip filler. No, I’m not a dermatologist or licensed aesthetician; I just obsess over this shit like it’s my job. If they ever perfect filler so it looks exactly like your lips did at 20 with zero sign of a struggle, I mean injection, I will literally TELEPORT to my derm. My feed is full of lower-face lift before-and-afters. I wrote a published essay about my “laser journey.”* And btw, I don’t judge any woman who gets work done — unless it’s terrible work, on a terrible person. Mar-a-Lago face, I judge and mock unapologetically. 2 - My list is not “all women.” Largely women, yes — 72%, according to my ESP, Kit, which also told me that the sender of this incensed reply is…drumroll please…a DUDE. If Kit is right, I dare say I’ve been mansplained to about my audience and my “power to sell.” Which brings me to… 3 - My “power to sell”: oh yeah? My comment on lip filler undermines it in “one fell swoop”? I’ve said way more controversial things, and — not to sound cocky — I’ve never had a problem selling in my emails. Not even the ones with the higher unsubscribe rates. My emails sell, baby. They did even back when my list was tiny. They’ve made me millions, and that’s due to a few factors: A) They get opened, because I write fun-to-read emails that my Shrimpers look forward to. B) They build that “know, like, and trust” factor, the diesel fuel of sales, because I write in my voice, weaving in my personality, point of view, and (often hard-earned) wisdom. Love sharing my bountiful screwups with ya. C) They pull you in with story and then get you to buy — happily. Entertain and persuade. You might say they do it “in one fell swoop.” D) I send lots. I’m not super fast (in fact sometimes I’m super slow) but I love writing them and am always game to fire off another. Can you say all of the above about yours? If yes, CONGRATS! Write back and tell me about your success. Send me examples of your top-performing emails, I love seeing what works. If not but you wish you could, you’ve gotta come to my upcoming email class (it’s free): End-Of-Year Bonus Thursday, October 29 at 3pm ET/12pm PT Grab your seat with one click here. Can’t wait to see you on my Zoom screen! I’ll be there with bells (and the touch-up filter) on. xoLaura PS - *The essay on my “laser journey” is in the fabulous anthology Midlife Private Parts (Regalo Press, distributed by Simon and Schuster). Chapter: “Mysterious Charge.” If you’re anywhere near midlife, grab copies for all your friends — even if you’re in the *tiny* 28% of Shrimpers who are men (hello, good sir). PPS - Oh, I forgot to finish my deconstruction: 4 - Yes, I do aim to “empower someone’s inner writer.” Um…not just someone’s; YOURS. Other than that, correct, no community note. I also aim to empower your inner money-maker. I’ll do that on October 29th. PPPS - Yes, there’ll be a replay. Always a replay, unless I explicitly say “no replays.” Love Shrimp Mail? Forward this to a friend so they can get in on the action and sign up below.
Thank you for reading and sharing, |
Laura Belgray (Talking Shrimp)
"Yours are the only emails I actually open and read" - a regular reply in my inbox since 2009...and I'll bet in yours, too, once you subscribe and learn by pure, lazy osmosis to become the most compelling writer around. That said, no promises on improving your moral character.
So — every single time I try to make money by sending a bunch of emails, the weirdest thing happens: It works! Some promotions do better than others, but if an offer doesn’t sell well, it’s almost always because of one thing: I was lazy. Or disorganized. Or discouraged by initial sales. Or cocky that my light drizzle of promotion would be enough. Or, despite everything I preach, reluctant to “bombard” your inbox. Sometimes, all of the above. But it’s still the one thing: I didn’t send enough...
Hey - just finished East of Eden on Netflix. You watch? The book is one of my all-time favorites. I read it in 1992 on a 10-hour flight, which felt like 2 hours (even in Economy) because it was that unputdownable. I loved the series. My only complaint is Florence Pugh’s lip filler, which has no business in a turn-of-the-century period piece. She might as well be wearing lululemon pants and a sports bra. The reason I’m bringing up East of Eden, though, is a business lesson. The central family,...
Hi hiiii — If you were around for my Tough Titties launch or have my course Book Launch Hero, you’ve heard me talk about my “publishing journey,” and might remember that most editors asked my agent, “Would she be willing to make it a copywriting or marketing book?” Hard no! I’ve always been glad I stuck to my guns, and on Friday I enjoyed a fresh wave of validation. Farnoosh Torabi and Richelle Fredson had me as a panelist at their fabulous event “Book to Brand,” alongside other authors,...