"Yours are the only emails I actually open and read" - a regular reply in my inbox since 2009...and I'll bet in yours, too, once you subscribe and learn by pure, lazy osmosis to become the most compelling writer around. That said, no promises on improving your moral character.
How lazy can you get??
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Hey Reader, I'm still pissed about a meal seven full years ago, at a trendy, new restaurant in Northwest Connecticut — the sort with servers who ask, “Are you familiar with how our menu works?” (What’s that you say? The appetizers are smaller and designed for sharing, and then the entrees listed below tend to be larger? Mind blown!) It was an expensive place, which I’m fine with as long as you're getting something for your money. I’m not OK with it when the cheapest appetizer on the menu, the $16 cherry tomato salad, is a handful of cherry tomatoes rolling around on the plate in some olive oil. They didn't even bother to cut them in this precious, farm-to-table eatery whose menu claims at the bottom, "We let the ingredients take center stage." Oh, is that so you can stay backstage and nap? I’m fine with minimalism. A simple, fresh piece of fish, etc. But unsliced cherry tomatoes on a plate are slippery and useless. Joyless and unacceptable. The skin repels seasoning, so there's no flavor. And then just try to go at them with a knife and fork. Go ahead, try. It wasn’t a serrated knife, FYI. That right there is a recipe for dissatisfaction and shirt stains. NOT a recipe for salad. You can eat them that way when they're out on the kitchen counter. It's called a snack. But f*ck you to the lazy restaurant that tries to pass them off as a starter. Why don't you just serve me a plate of marbles? At least we can take them outside and have some fun. I told you I was still pissed. But there's an excellent lesson in this Salad of Sadness. It reminds me of what people do now when they open ChatGPT. They type, “Write a marketing email about my offer" or “Make this sound more like me.” Then they copy-paste the result, maybe change a word, and hit send. Same thing with those “fill-in-the-blanks” templates and so-called “proven” scripts. Plug your name here, add your offer there, sprinkle in a couple of emojis, done. No. This is the copywriting equivalent of whole, unsliced cherry tomatoes. It’s slippery, flavorless, and no fun to consume. We’ll say “bleh, too much work” and push the proverbial plate away. That’s the difference between something people read and something they ignore. And I know you don’t want to write the stuff people ignore. You want to write the beautifully seasoned, flavorful stuff that gets read, shared, and remembered. The kind that sells while your reader’s still nodding along and smiling at the story. Join me for my free live workshop, Emails That Sell, where I’ll show you how to do exactly that: write emails people actually look forward to reading and then joyfully buy from. 🎤 FREE LIVE EVENT! Emails That Sell: How to Write Emails That Have Your List Clicking, Buying, and Drooling at Your Every Word If you’re fired up to start writing copy with flavor — words that get people excited to read and excited to buy from you — here are some quickies you can grab right now: Talking Shrimp's 60-Minute Makeovers Copywriting Mini-Course. Tweaks that take your copy from "meh" to MONEY. Great if you're a visual learner and want some quick motivation to get your copy done. This'll change the way you see copy, and get you off your butt. A perfect complement to The Copy Cure if you've already taken it. Pair them! Talking Shrimp's About Page Builder (With Bonus Guide: Your Mega-Impressive, Money-Making Mini Bio). Don't let your About page torture you for months or years, keeping you in "my website's almost finished" purgatory. Grab this and get 'er done. Please don't serve your copy tomatoes whole. All they'll do is roll around. xoLaura
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Laura Belgray (Talking Shrimp)
"Yours are the only emails I actually open and read" - a regular reply in my inbox since 2009...and I'll bet in yours, too, once you subscribe and learn by pure, lazy osmosis to become the most compelling writer around. That said, no promises on improving your moral character.
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