"Yours are the only emails I actually open and read" - a regular reply in my inbox since 2009...and I'll bet in yours, too, once you subscribe and learn by pure, lazy osmosis to become the most compelling writer around. That said, no promises on improving your moral character.
This is INCREDIBLE writing — wow
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Hiiiii Steven and I recently spent a day up at my mom’s apartment, where I grew up, helping her sort through 55+ years’ worth of papers. She’d kept everything.
One shocking relic: my 10th-grade application to a summer program called The Experiment in International Living. Why “shocking”? People sometimes ask if I’ve always been a “good writer.” Well, I thought I was. I got all A’s in English. Even got accused of plagiarism because of the sophisticated prose in my paper on The Scarlet Letter. But this document changed my mind. It proves that, at least when it was for a grade or to impress someone, my writing was DEADLY. I don’t mean killer. I mean, it could literally bore you to death. So get your affairs in order before you lay eyes on this: Are you still here, Reader? Are you breathing? *Feels for pulse* See? I told you it was incredible. My favorite line is, “I am very active.” Sounds like I’m applying to an independent living facility for seniors. Despite reading like the world’s biggest dullard and/or psychopath posing as a lover of fun and “other cultures,” I got in. They did ignore my pleas to be placed in a city, and I’m so glad. My group was based in a tiny Spanish town called Toro (pop: 10,000). Best summer of my life. So why am I sharing this snoozefest of an essay? Because it’s a great reminder that this is how most of us were taught to write. It’s the exact kind of robotic, soulless prose that earns good grades. Is it any wonder so many people struggle to write in a natural, human voice? Or to have any fun writing at all? Three thoughts for you: 1 - If a teacher ever told you you couldn’t write, it doesn’t mean you were a bad writer. It probably means the opposite. 2 - If you have trouble writing conversationally, with personality and without a ten-foot stick up your culo, it’s not your fault and you’re in good company. 3 - You can unlearn this dry-as-dandruff style. The stick can come out. And once it’s out, it’s OUT. I’ll help you get it out, in person… When you come to my Bingeworthy Live Writing Retreat in NYC. And btw, no butt stick required — If your prose already pops off the page but you want to write lots more of it, make it even stronger, and get a life-giving dose of IRL human connection, this is also for you. VIP Tickets are still $500 off for the next five people. And Hot Tickets are $1000 off until Tuesday (Nov 17th) or until they’re sold out, whichever comes first. Peep the details and grab your super-early-bird ticket now. To your actually incredible writing. Can’t wait to see what comes out (along with that stick). xoLaura PS - Tell me, Reader, do you have trouble sounding like “you” in your writing? Hit me back, I love hearing from you. Love Shrimp Mail? Forward this to a friend so they can get in on the action and sign up below.
Thank you for reading and sharing, |
Laura Belgray (Talking Shrimp)
"Yours are the only emails I actually open and read" - a regular reply in my inbox since 2009...and I'll bet in yours, too, once you subscribe and learn by pure, lazy osmosis to become the most compelling writer around. That said, no promises on improving your moral character.
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